We’ve been out to several shows since the Merry Mount show I posted about in May. Things went well at Merry Mount. Patrick was relaxed and well behaved. I was successful in my first 2’9” hunter division with him although we did have some less than perfect take-off spots. I guess I though from that point on, we were going to progress in a linear fashion until I was riding him in the 3’ adult amateur hunter division. I have been riding and working with horses for a long time and I should have known better than that!

The next show we had was at the Prince George Equestrian Center where we had showed once earlier in the season. It wasn’t a good show, in fact, it was a slight disaster. There was a storm rolling in and many of the horses were acting, well…crazy. Riders were being dumped left and right. Patrick warmed up okay and we went into our first class with me feeling confident and ready to gallop him down the lines. He had other plans. He stared down many of the jumps, compressing his stride in the process so that we had to add a step in down two of the lines. He never stopped at anything, but he is normally very brave, so even the fact that he was “looky” was out of character. Then, in my exiting hunter circle, he pulled down on the reins with his head. He had done this to me before, so I kicked him on and wasn’t too fazed by it. I’m sure it was a low scoring first round, but we still had our second round to go, and he had now seen all of the jumps, so I figured we could improve on our first performance. Well, we cantered up to the first fence, a single oxer, he jumped it with style and then abruptly thrust his head downward and cantered away with me still firmly seated but with his nose at the level of his ankles pushing the dirt. I saw a video of the incident later, and it looked like a comical, non-malicious, but still very dirty, pony trick. Most riders would have kicked him on and ridden right through it, but I’m a chicken and that frayed my last nerve. I got his head back up, made him canter a courtesy circle, which he did fine, and then exited the ring. I didn’t feel comfortable finishing my course, although I wish in hindsight that I would have just cowboyed it up and gotten him around. Instead, I gave him to Holly to school, but his shenanigans continued with her in the schooling ring and we ended up scratching the 2’9” division I have signed up for. I’m not sure what caused my amiable horse’s temper tantrum. Maybe it was the storm. I’ve heard that some horses are very sensitive to changes in barometric pressure and it can affect the way they feel and act. Patrick was also was having severe diarrhea that day, perhaps also the result of the weather change. In any case, he was an unhappy camper and did not want to play horse show. When I vented my frustrations to my parents on the phone that night they were more sympathetic to Patrick that they were to me. My mom said, “The poor baby, he was feeling sick, no wonder he didn’t want to perform.”

My dad listened to me rant for about fifteen minutes. Then after a brief silence said, “you know he’s half PONY, right?”

“YES, Dad.” As if I needed a reminder.

As an aside, my dad is not a horseperson, but he knows that ponies have horns. His only working knowledge of ponies comes from his sister’s evil pony Corky, who was a foundered Shetland purchased for $50 to live on the family hog farm in Iowa. Corky allegedly wore a barb wire bit (no saddle, mind you) and still had no brakes. When he tired of being ridden, he scraped the kids off on the barb wire fences.

So my dad’s point was, while Patrick was proving to be generally a fantastic, wonderful horse, I should not be surprised to occasionally find a set of small devil horns poking through that fluffy, Connemara-like forelock. Nobody’s perfect. Point taken.

By the time the next PGEC show rolled around, I had generally forgiven Patrick for being a jerk at the previous show.  We had done lots of outings, which was helpful. Due to scheduling conflicts, we were entered in a 2’3” hunter division this time. I figured the height wasn’t important for this show anyway and that we just needed some miles. Holly took Patrick in a ticketed warm up prior to the division. He did try to put his head down after the first line, but Holly swiftly corrected him. He was very sorry and never tried it again. It was very good for me to see her correct the behavior, because the correction worked and I saw that his only response to her correction was to stop the behavior and do a better job. I am sure he will eventually pull down again, but I think I will be much more confident handling the behavior next time. Patrick went beautifully for me in my classes and was a total saint for the rest of the day. We were 1st and 2nd over fences and 3rd on the flat, good enough for division reserve champion. It was an excellent confidence-building show for me.

We were just back at PGEC this past Saturday for the final show of our local series. Long story short, it was a totally great show. First of all, it was fun because several friends from our barn, Woodbury Equestrian Center, came up to cheer us on. My friend, Diane, who I trailered up with was riding her horse, Lincoln, in the 3’6” jumpers, which is always exciting. Patrick and I were totally relaxed and had a good warm up. We entered the Maryland Horse Show Association-rated Pre-Adult Hunter division (2’6”). I felt calm and collected riding in my first class. I was actually able to think about what I was doing on course, just like I do at home. What resulted was one of the best hunter rounds I’ve ever ridden. It was pretty darned consistent and Holly and I were both very pleased. The second over fences round was also good, but I had a couple of chips. The flat went well too. I ended up placing 1st and 2nd over fences and 1st on the flat, winning division champion. Even better, Patrick was just about perfect. It was extremely humid but he still made it down all the lines except one (one of the chips) and he jumped very well. I kept my head together and actually RODE him…hooray! Looking at the videos, there were a couple things I didn’t like about my equitation. I injured my left leg in the past, and as a result, my left stirrup sometimes slips toward home, affecting my lower leg position. I must continue working on getting that leg to stay in place better. It looks like I’m doing a better job of keeping my upper body down and back over fences compared to the Merry Mount show, although I popped up early a couple of times. With this sport, there are always things to improve upon, but I was so happy about how things went. It was such a fun show day!

Photo Credit: Julie Devine

One of my favorite readers (and also a fellow blogger) made me realize that I should add a function to the HJC blog that let’s readers subscribe to the blog if they want to. This way, since I am sometimes inconsistent about how frequently I post, when there is a new post, you’ll be notified. Since my blog platform doesn’t currently offer a “subscribe” function, I added a Facebook “Like” button to the sidebar on the right. If you press the button, it will link your Facebook profile up with the Hunter Jumper Connection Facebook page. I’ll post a link to the HJC blog on the Facebook page when I update the blog, and it should show up on your Facebook wall. I am slightly technologically impaired, but I think this should work for now. If my blog platform does start offering a more sophisticated subscribe function, I’ll set that up too.

“Ask HJC” has also been recently updated. Holly and I have gotten some excellent reader questions. We’ve also gotten a couple of potential blog post topic ideas from readers recently. We love your ideas! Keep them coming.

I had to add a photo of the day here. Patrick destroyed the plain black bell boots he had been wearing for turnout. I replaced them with a pair of glittery purple ones. My conservative hunter heart skipped a beat when I bought the tacky things. Scandalous! But I figure, everybody deserves a little sparkle, even Patrick. If I show up to my Holly lesson in these, I know I’ll get in trouble, but they’re great for turnout. If he ever takes one off, I can drive the Gator around the field looking for a purple, twinkly object.

 Since this blog is about horseback riding, I don’t usually venture into other topics, like giving love advice. However, I’m going to break the rules today at the request of some single horsey girlfriends. They seem to think I’m qualified to do this because I somehow managed to “bag” my wonderful and highly horse-supportive husband of almost four years. I’ll do my best, ladies! I’m going to try to relate my love advice back to horses and riding, which we all understand. Here goes!

What does it mean to “bag a man”, you ask? Well, the dictionary states that the word “bagging” can be used informally as a verb to describing catching something, as in hunting. Yes, bagging is the art of catching a man, but not just catching him. Bagging a man is about looking inward and understanding what you are looking for in a quality mate. For those of us living the equestrian lifestyle, that means a man who is supportive of our lifestyle and all it entails. Man bagging is about putting yourself in a position to meet the man of your dreams, and knowing him when you do meet him. It’s about taking the right steps to charm him, interest him and find out if he is truly compatible with you. It’s about understanding how to progress your relationship with the right man and to move on from the wrong man.

Step 1. Make the decision: Are you are ready and willing to bag a man?

This is important. Bagging a man is not about finding a really cool guy to casually date, then breaking up with, then finding another cool guy to date, then breaking up with him, ad nauseum.  Bagging is about finding a person who you are so committed to and who is so committed to you, that you can stay together forever. That doesn’t mean that you have to get engaged or married right away and it doesn’t mean you won’t kiss a few frogs before you find a prince worth bagging. However, you must be in an appropriate mindset to find your prince. Ask yourself, if you met a guy today who was compatible with you and excellent husband material, would you be ready to work toward a committed relationship ending in marriage? If the answer is yes, you are ready to start bagging. If it’s no, you’re not ready and it’s okay. You will enjoy much more man bagging success if you wait for the time when you are ready for the process. Like bringing along a young prospect horse, man bagging and nurturing the resulting relationship is a lot work, but almost nothing in life is more rewarding.

Step 2. Confidence is the sexiest body part

Horses know the difference between a confident rider and an un-confident rider. The same horse under a confident rider often acts differently than when he is under an un-confident rider. For example, he may jump everything for a confident rider but refuse or run out on the un-confident one. The horse isn’t stupid or ill trained. He’s just getting away with the bad behavior because he knows he can. This is the same with human interaction. Your level of self-confidence can affect the way other people, including men, treat you. If you are confident, people with any social sense will treat you well and respect you. If you are perceived as un-confident and weak, some people will tread upon you. You must focus on your strengths, learn to be secure, comfortable and happy with who you are and then learn to project these positive feelings about yourself outwardly. When men can sense that you actually like yourself, it makes it much easier for them to love you. It’s great when men compliment us and build us up, but they can also knock us down. It is our responsibility to like ourselves regardless of what others say or think. In the same regard, it is always our job to pick ourselves up and get back on the horse, no matter why or how we parted company with him.

Step 3.  Understand when a man is worth bagging (or not)

Okay, so if you are ready to look for a man who is the keeper, and you are going to be self-confident no matter what happens, now it’s time to start thinking about the men. Some men are worth bagging and other men aren’t. I mentioned earlier that you will have to kiss some frogs in order to find your prince. In other words, there will be some dating involved as you get to know your man-prospects and figure out if they are right for you. The dating process isn’t dis-similar to trying sale horses. You should have some must-have traits you are looking for, such as “nice temperament, at least 16 hands, doesn’t buck.” At the same time, you don’t want to tighten up your criteria so much that you exclude many good prospects. For example, “must be grey, 17 hands, Hanoverian, 3’6” hunter derby winner.” Guess what? Unless you have $300 grand or so to drop on a horse, that horse does not exist and neither does his man-equivalent. On the flip side, you do not want to search aimlessly, buying any old horse that comes your way. You need some criteria when searching for both horses and men. One of the worst things you can do is fall in love with an unsuitable horse. For example, a horse who is 17h, black with four white socks and a blaze, and a laminitic bolter/rearer. Yes, he’s handsome and you’re attracted to him, but the lameness and terrible behavior will soon end your relationship, leaving you heartbroken. If you ever meet the man equivalent of this horse, cinch up your empty bag and get out as fast as you can.

What your man-criteria will be is somewhat personal and different for everyone. However, some of the top issues you may encounter are related to religion, personal finances, family, and in the case of equestrians, if the equestrian lifestyle (i.e. time/money commitment) is acceptable. These aren’t issues that you tackle on a first date, but you should know your own position on each of these issues; where you can be flexible and where you can’t. This way, when you meet a great guy and talk about these issues over a period of time, you will get a better picture of what life together would be like.

Step 4. Look for love in all the right places

If you ONLY spend time at the barn with a bunch of gal pals, or sitting at home eating macaroni and ice cream and watching TV, then you are not setting yourself up for man bagging success. Doing this is like training for Rolex by only riding your horse once a week and then expecting to win. You do not win Rolex by not riding and you do not bag men by sitting at home. Crap in, crap out.  You must put yourself in a geographic and social position for success. By geographic, I mean, go out. Go where the men are. Go to parties and picnics and happy hours and club outings. Strike a better balance between going to the barn and doing other activities where you will meet different groups of people. Socially, keep building your network of friends. Talk to people you don’t know well or wouldn’t ordinarily talk to. The more people you meet, the more likely a wonderful man who has a lot in common with you will enter into your extended social network. Meeting guys through mutual friends is one of the best ways to go, so give yourself every opportunity to succeed.

Step 5. Bag your man

By now, hopefully you are feeling confident, know what you are looking for in a guy, and you are out and about so you actually might meet someone. Now this is the exciting part! When you meet a man who, at first impression seems to be just what you’re looking for, it’s time to bag him. Bagging is much like training a horse. You must be clear with the horse and make your signals to him black and white so that he knows exactly what you want. You can be firm and direct if needed, but you should never get over-aggressive. If you do, the horse will shut down. In the same way, when you are flirting, being clear about the fact that you like the guy will be appreciated, but over-aggressiveness will frequently be a turn off. The important thing, even if you do so gently, is to follow through. If you really like him, make sure he knows it and get his contact information so that you have the opportunity to continue getting to know him better. Some women don’t like asking for a guy’s number, but if you really like him and he seems to really like you too but doesn’t offer his number, ask for it. The worst he can say is no and we are strong, self-confident women who can take no for an answer. Don’t be afraid of failure. How many times have you fallen off of your horse? Do you still ride? Okay, then. If you get rejected, you will live to bag men another day.

Step 6. Good job, you bagged him! Now what?

Bagging is about establishing mutual interest and attraction. Once you bag a man, the relationship process begins. For the first few dates, you can stay on warm and fuzzy getting-to-know-you subjects. You don’t want to dive into the heavy subjects right away and scaring him off. However, don’t wait too long to start discussing more substantial topics. If you still like each other after the first few dates, start to discuss the big four issues: religion, personal finances, family views/wants/needs, and acceptance of the equestrian lifestyle. At this stage, you think he seems like a great guy and you’re attracted to him, but that’s not enough. Use clear, effective communication to figure out how you match up on these key issues. Men who are turning out to be potential marriage material deserve full disclosure of what it means to live the equestrian lifestyle. They should have the opportunity to understand the temporal, emotional, and monetary commitment that you make (and will continue to make) to horses and riding. They have the right to make a conscientious decision about whether or not they can cope with and be supportive of your lifestyle. They should never be able to say they were not warned before making a further commitment to the relationship!

I want to remind you that your significant other can be very supportive of your horse habit without being a rider or coming to the barn all the time to hug and brush on your beloved Snookybuns. Thinking that your guy needs to be “into it” is a mistake and expecting too much. If he wants to ride or learn about horses, great, but if he doesn’t don’t pressure him. My husband has only seen the horse I bought over six months ago a handful of times, but he is very supportive of my riding. He never complains about the giant horse-related bills I make (ex. “Honey can I have $700, please?”), or when he comes home to an empty house and a frozen dinner because I have gone riding on a beautiful night. He is always willing to talk about it when I hit a wall in my riding and get frustrated. He will come to shows on weekends, sleep in between my classes, hold my horse while I get dressed and not complain. The only reason he cares about my horse is because he knows it is important to me and that living with horses gives me a lot of joy. When you find a man who respects you so much that your horsing around is important to him just because it is important to you and not because it really makes any sense, that’s a good guy. Hang on to that one.

If you find after having these important discussions that you both have similar views or you can find reasonable compromises when there are issues, then the relationship has a good chance of succeeding. If you can’t see eye to eye, then you might need to let this man out of your bag and set him free. It’s kind of like if you are an advanced level eventer and you buy a horse that is fabulous at dressage but afraid of ditches, water and his own shadow on cross-country. There is nothing wrong with you or the horse, but you need a braver horse and he needs a dressage queen. Similarly, breaking up with an unsuitable boyfriend is a drag, but it is part of the process. Don’t stay with someone once you realize he’s not right for you. Un-bag him! Let him go. Learn from the relationship what you liked and didn’t like, then move forward.

Step 7. Give and take

Riders, what happens if you choke up the reins on an off-the-track-thoroughbred? He’s gonna run like hell. Men are no different. If you’ve found a man who is a real keeper and you are compatible (or can compromise) on all the major life issues, now it’s time to work toward a committed relationship at a pace that is appropriate for you and your significant other. Ideally, this will end in a happy marriage when you both are ready. In this step, you learn how to give and take, just as you would with the reins of a sensitive horse. Men are the same. You pick your battles. Sometimes you let things go. Sometimes you come out spurs and whip blazing, and you dig your heels in. To be an educated rider and a good wife/fiancé/girlfriend, you have to have a good sense of timing and learn to understand when each approach is appropriate. Never close down the lines of clear communication you have established. Most of all, once you find a great guy, the keeper, you have to be committed. There will be hard times. You will argue and disagree about things, but once you make the commitment to your significant other you should both adopt the mentality that giving up is not an option. When you look at it like that, it becomes easier to resolve your problems.

Horse people understand loyalty and commitment. I know riders who have kept beloved retired mounts for years until death-do-us-part. They refused to discard the horses that spent so many years taking care of them even though the horses no longer benefitted them. That’s loyalty and commitment. Horses are not disposable and neither are committed relationships.

Just Go With It

Now, I have had plenty of really great, uneventful lessons, but those aren’t the ones it’s fun to write about! I wanted to share something that happened in my lesson a few weeks ago. Here’s the set up: a three-stride line with a straight 3’ jump in and a wide, ramped 3’3” oxer out. Note that 3’3” is pretty much the max height I am jumping at this point and still looks relatively big and scary to me. We had a bad distance over the straight single jump in. Patrick got so close that he basically had to jump straight up to get over it. I must’ve gotten ahead, because I lost my stirrups and ended up lying on his neck. It was not a huge problem though. Feeling me get unbalanced he broke to a walk and I thought, “No big deal. I’ll just get re-situated and we’ll try it again.”

That’s when the unexpected happened. As I sat up, Patrick pricked his ears and picked up a trot. To my great horror, I realized that I was half balanced, had no stirrups and loopy reins and he was head STRAIGHT for the big oxer. His internal monologue must’ve gone something like, “Hey Rider Lady, you missed the second element of your line... I’ll jump it for you!”

I had literally one second to decide what to do. I opened one rein to try to run him out, but it was too late and he was already committed to the jump. I considered bailing out, but figured I’d probably land on the jump. I decided the safest thing to do was to try and ride it. I would probably fall off, but at least if I made it to the other side, I would fall in the sand instead of on hard wooden planks. I don’t remember it, but I was heard to mutter, “oh dear” prior to take off. I leaned my upper body forward against his neck and hoped for the best. He took one big canter stride and jumped. We landed on the other side and to my amazement, I was still sitting square in the saddle in balance with him. Patrick lazily broke to a walk as I shortened my reins and picked up my stirrups. “Well, at least you can’t say this horse isn’t honest.” I joked to my still white-faced trainer.

The rest of the ride went fine. We (more successfully) cleared the line several more times. I’m pretty sure there’s a life lesson in here somewhere in addition to a lesson about how to ride horses. You may not always get the perfect spot to a fence, in fact, I can guarantee you won’t. Heck, you might not even be prepared for the jump. Even so, sometimes there is nothing to be gained from holding back. You might want to quit or bail out before the going gets too tough, but the best thing to do is to just go with it. That’s right, just go with it! Yes, you might fail. You might end up with a face full of sand, but you might just surprise yourself and succeed when you thought you couldn’t.

Now I’m not saying that I want to experience this kind of riding debacle every day. I’m not sure my chicken adult ammy heart can take that! However, I aim to ride the way I rode that day when faced with that situation. For better or for worse, I made a decision to go with him and I stuck to it. Maybe that’s a little something I learned from Patrick. Sure, deciding to jump that fence without any direction from me other than being pointed in its general direction wasn’t the smartest thing he ever did, but he didn’t know that. What was interesting about it was the feeling I got from him once he had decided to jump that oxer. He was totally committed. There was no question in his mind that he would make it to the other side. I think if I had that sort of confidence in riding and in life, it would be difficult not to succeed.

I think it’s fair to say that my show season with Patrick has begun in earnest. I showed him at two small home shows at Woodbury Equestrian Center, took him to a show at AMIT, another local farm, and in late March, took him to the BEST Horse Show at the Prince George Equestrian Center, showing in 2’6” classes each time. I intend to show all four weekends of the BEST series as the PG Equestrian Center is good practice for rated shows. In fact, several rated shows are held there each year including The Capital Challenge.

The homes shows were pretty uneventful and we did well. I got quite nervous going to the AMIT show even though I know the facility and most of the people well because I used to ride there. Although Patrick is super quiet at home, I knew that could change in an unfamiliar place. I had not ridden him the day before the show since it was a last minute decision to go. Trainer, Holly, also couldn’t make it so my friend and also a trainer, Julie, subbed. Things went fine, but in my first round, I felt that we were going super-fast compared to what I was used to at home. As a result, I choked up on the reins during my next course causing my pony to chip in an extra stride in each line. Julie’s recommendation was that I needed to use more leg. In hindsight, Patrick is my first push-ride horse ever, and the AMIT show exposed my inexperience with that type of ride. I was used to half-halting and holding a fresh, overexcited horse, but when I tried the same strategy on Patrick, he would happily oblige my half-halts and lack of firm leg by crawling around in a “teacup” canter, making him take an extra stride between jumps set at related distances. Furthermore, my previous horse could be quite a handful at shows, which I think has made me timid and tentative in that environment; and I’m a pretty cautious rider to begin with!

The BEST horse show at PG Equestrian Center brought the issue into sharper focus.  I knew that I needed to apply more leg on course at this show to lengthen Patrick’s stride and get the appropriate number of strides down the lines. Unfortunately, that plan went out the window after we had a miscommunication in the warmup ring. Patrick was a complete saint in the bustling warmup ring, an area on the show grounds that makes me very nervous. He carefully avoided the other horses while packing me around in a slow, deliberate manner. Then it was time to school a few jumps. We popped over a few singles and then Holly put up an oxer. Mr. Paddy Pony saw the long spot while Yours Truly saw the the chippy spot. P.Pony took off from his spot while Yours Truly never even made it into a two point position. I got left terribly. I managed to slip the reins to avoid hitting his mouth, but, in catching up, got thrown all the way out of the saddle and onto his neck. For a few seconds, I had zero control of him. I wrapped my arms around his neck to stay on saying “good boy, good boy, good boy.” If he wanted to try any naughty behavior, he could have done anything and would have had an excuse for doing it. Instead, he landed from the jump, cantered in a straight line, slowed and stopped. George Morris has a name for this type of horse. He calls them Rescuers and I certainly was glad to be riding one when this happened!

Although I was very grateful that Patrick had saved me from a fall by being kinder than necessary and taking care of me, the incident did make me more tentative about jumping for the day. I didn’t feel confident in my ability to stay with him over the fence if I wasn’t sure of the distance. As a result, I proceeded to “teacup canter” around my next three courses, adding strides everywhere. Because my courses were consistent and the distances at each fence were generally good, I still got decent ribbons, but it was disheartening. I had never had trouble making the correct number of strides in my lines before and it made me wonder if we were capable of doing it (although Holly assured me we were).

I had one more over fences class left. Holly told me to stop worrying about my equitation and everything else and just “gallop around like an old Pennsylvania fox hunter.” Having grown up riding in Pennsylvania hunt country, I understood what she meant. I decided that, if I did nothing else, I wanted to do the correct number of strides between the fences. I took off at what felt like a fast hand gallop. Holly is fond of encouraging students to “go as fast as you’re comfortable, then go faster” when selecting a jumping pace. That’s exactly what I did. We jumped into the first line and I counted the strides, 1-2-3-4-5! We jumped out in the correct number! We jumped the next two lines in the correct number of strides as well and even placed third in the class of ten. It turned out that when I firmly pushed Patrick forward, he not only got the correct number of strides, but nailed his take-off distances too. It was a great way to end the day and a great lesson about Correct Pace for Jumping.

Following that day, Holly gave me a schedule of exercises to do with Patrick to practice lengthening his stride between related distances such as poles on the ground or jumps. He isn’t short strided at all, and is, in fact, very adjustable, but if you want the 12-13 foot stride, you do have to ask. We also practiced our hand gallop and schooled in an 8 acre field on the farm to encourage him to stretch out and, most importantly, to get me comfortable with the feeling of his bigger stride and a quicker pace.

Last weekend, we headed out to a schooling show at MerryMount Equestrian Center. My plan was to ride in the 2’6” equitation division and if that went well, to ride in my first 2’9” division with Patrick. I had showed at 2’9” a little in the past, but hadn’t done it since 2007. We had been practicing 2’9”-3’3” at home, but the horseshow environment is definitely different for me.

The warm up ring went great this time, as did the 2’6” division. The show was well-run and I liked the jumps. There was a coop, a gate, a couple of oxers and a roll top…great hunter-style jumps. A lot of brush fill was used and there was a one stride, a six stride and a four stride that was set quite long; on maybe a 13’ stride. “Get down these lines and BEST will be no problem,” exclaimed Holly.

We nailed the 6 stride line every time but had to chip out in 5 strides in the 4 stride line. I didn’t let it get me down. I was feeling great going into the 2’9” division. Normally I would have been really nervous, but I was so prepared to do it and so trusting of Patrick that I didn’t have the usual nerves. We galloped around at a good pace and had good spots at most of the jumps. When riding into the 4 stride line, I pressed Patrick as hard as I could. The spot into the line was a little short and despite my pressing, he didn’t stretch out in the first stride away from the jump, but I kept after him. In spite of the super long line and less than perfect jump in, we sailed out of it in 4 strides. I was thrilled. A month ago, I don’t think we could have done it, but through hard work and a good training regimen we had become a much more effective team. I have never had more fun on course in a show than I did in that division. Getting good ribbons is just the icing on the cake for me at this point, but we did win the class! More importantly, I feel that I’m getting closer to my goal of being able to compete in the adult amateur divisions in which the fences are set at 3’. It was a fantastic day, and reminded me how lucky I am to have Patrick. He’s pretty special!

Holly and I filmed a demonstration of the Serpentine Over Fences jumping exercise this week. I have seen Holly use this exercise several times. If you like the Circle of Death, I think that this exercise is even more difficult and very useful. It builds on the principles a horse and rider can learn from the Circle of Death such as coordination of the rider's aids including eyes, hands, leg and seat to choose an appropriate track to the fences. However, in the serpentine exercise, the rider must change her track by jumping straight over each jump and shaping a nice round turn before developing straightness to the next fence. The track is shaped like an "S" so the horse changes direction after each fence.

This was Patrick's first time through the exercise. I like it for him because he has a little bit of an outside line-diagonal line-outside line hunter mentality. I like exercises that involve turns and jumps coming up quickly because it really sharpens him up and gets him listening to my aids better. It prepares him to be more handy and to execute the challenges of an equitation course. Although we didn't always get the perfect track, I could tell that he was starting to "get it". He felt more responsive as we continued with the exercise and perhaps as I gave him better directions with my aids. The exercise seemed to tire him out even though we kept the jumps low. If you think about it, it's quite a few jumps in a row with a lot of tight turns. Challenging! I like it!

Yesterday, Holly brought her antique sidesaddle out to the barn so we could try a little sidesaddle ride on Patrick. He was very well behaved and accepted the strange, heavy saddle and lack of right leg aids very well. Holly has been riding and showing sidesaddle for many years, as has her mother who is also a trainer and professional. I can't say the same for Patrick and me. Patrick's first time under sidesaddle was my second time in the sidesaddle. Man, does it feel weird! You have to lean to the right in order to center yourself on the horse and lose a lot of control that you'd normally have from the leg aids while wrapping your legs around the "Leaping Heads" instead of the horse. I also worry that the saddle will slip sideways. Apparently, it has been known to happen! Jumping is especially difficult. I have jumped a couple of crossrails on another horse, and it is a much different feeling than jumping astride. There was no way I would attempt it on Patrick...this time.
While Holly was riding, she also explained some sidesaddle basics, which we captured in the video below. I thought it was really interesting. We might have to try sidesaddle more often now that we know Patrick doesn't mind!

I have owned two horses in the past. Both were off-the-track thoroughbreds (OTTBs) and both kind of fell into my lap. With those two, I never had to go on the traditional horse search with trainer in tow. By the time my husband and I moved to Southern Maryland after living in Maine for almost 5 years, we were horseless and ready to buy again. I had been scrimping and saving my money for years in order to afford a quality horse. I was determined that this time around, I would pick the horse instead of the horse picking me. I wanted the new horse to be a “forever” horse. I was tired of buying and selling due to “circumstances.” I had reached a point at which I just wanted to find a horse that was a good fit for me, buy him/her and then live happily ever after…easier said than done!

Once I had been riding with my trainer, Holly, in Maryland for several months, I knew that I trusted her to help me find the right horse. I had the right trainer, and through working with her, my riding skills and fitness were improving. I had a good boarding facility available in Woodbury Equestrian Center, which was managed by my friend (and also a professional trainer), Julie. In addition to Holly and Julie, I had my riding buddies Diane and Susan to enjoy the “equestrian life” with. All that I needed was a suitable horse to complete our team!

I had been without a horse for about two years by the time I moved to SOMD. That gave me a lot of time to think about what I wanted in a potential mount. I think it’s fair to say that my expectations were a little too high and my criteria a little too narrow. I wanted a: quiet-tempered, dapple gray, 16+ hand warmblood or warmblood cross with hunter show experience that was young but no younger than four. When I informed Diane, she laughed and said that I would probably end up buying a small, brown Thoroughbred with no socks. “Sacrilege!” I told her. I was very indignant and swore that would never happen. I also added that I might consider a bay with some socks and perhaps a blaze. Holly shook her head and said that the search would be tough, but we would try.

Just as an aside, I am a hunter and equitation rider and it is silly to pick a horse or rule out a horse based on color. Hunters are judged on way of going including their movement and jumping style. In equitation, the rider is judged. Color and breed have little to do with anything and are really just a matter of personal preference. This is why my request for a dapple gray warmblood caused so much eye rolling, particularly from Diane, whose horse, Lincoln, is a 17 hand chestnut and white paint draft cross! She competes successfully with him in everything from equitation to jumpers to eventing.

Holly and I set out on our search. I screened hundreds of print and online ads for horses trying to determine which we should go see. Holly networked with trainers up and down the east coast. We saw at least 10 horses (most of them gray) in 4 different states over several months with no luck. I was getting disheartened. We saw some physically beautiful horses, but none of them were right for me. The biggest wakeup call was a horse that we looked at in Southern Virginia. He was a large 8 year old dapple gray warmblood cross. He was GORGEOUS. In my mind’s eye, this was the horse I pictured. This was what my dream horse looked like. The problem was that he wasn’t great to ride, was far too green for his age with some bad habits to boot. He was NOT my horse. Holly and I were both disappointed on the long drive home to Maryland, but this experience was the turning point of our search.

I realized that if I wanted a horse with the right traits to be a successful hunter and an enjoyable partner for me, then I had better loosen up some of my criteria, starting with color and breed! Additionally, I had realized that I didn’t feel up to taking on a green horse project. Although both horses I owned in the past were green, I really wanted the opportunity to own a well-schooled horse and focus on some aspects of my riding, if possible. Meanwhile, Holly had redoubled her efforts, planning a horse searching trip to Middleburg to see multiple horses. Julie was keeping her eyes open for both myself and Susan, who was also searching for a new horse. Julie had identified two additional horses for me to look at in the Middleburg area; one chestnut with socks and a blaze and one plain bay with not a sock, star or stripe to speak of. Holly got a hold of the sales video of the bay, named Patrick, quietly jumping a 3’ course on a loose rein while snapping his knees up to his eyeballs at each jump. “Erin, I know this horse is BROWN but I HIGHLY RECOMMEND that you try him” she told me. Julie, Susan and Diane were also pro-Patrick. “Okay fine, I’ll look at him” I said.

Holly set the Middleburg appointments while I spent the rest of the week pondering what it would feel like to own a brown horse. Even if the horse was perfectly wonderful, would I regret not buying a horse that looked like the one I had envisioned for all those years? Owning a horse is a tremendous commitment, and I wanted to make sure I would really love everything about the horse. I decided that I could live with brown, PLAIN BROWN even, but only if that brown horse was the best I had ever ridden in my entire life. I couldn’t let go of all of my standards, afterall!

Later that week, Holly, Julie and I set out for Middleburg. We saw several horses in the morning. It was the nicest group yet, but none were exactly right. We drove into town for lunch and to visit the tack shops. Middleburg, by the way, is a little like Disney World for horse people. It’s all cute streets, storefronts, tack shops and little ladies walking around in breeches and boots, all surrounded by pretty farms. In the afternoon, we headed out to see the final two horses, one of which was Patrick. He was by no means a 17 hand gray stunner. He was a 16 hand Connemara/Thoroughbred the color of dark chocolate. My first impression of him as they tacked him up was that he looked kind of quiet and “friendly.” The exercise rider hopped on. It was a frigid December day, so we were in a large but crowded indoor ring. He put Patrick through his paces. The horse had excellent gaits. He willingly went on the bit and did his flying changes. Then the rider began to jump. At first, the pair missed their distances. “You need to slow down,” barked Patrick’s trainer to her rider. “You always ride the horses too fast when the customers are here!”

Sure enough, the rider slowed down slightly and Patrick started nailing all of his distances to the fences, jumping them beautifully. Then it was my turn to ride. I was boosted into the saddle and took off at a walk. Even his walk felt like a straight, quality gait. I picked up the trot. He had some suspension, which made him feel springy and athletic, but not too bouncy or uncomfortable. He had a very soft mouth and was a push ride. Taking leg off was his invitation to slow down. I figured he would be a lot of work in the heat of summer! We picked up the canter. It was to die for; the most comfortable canter I had ever ridden. He completely carried himself. It was like floating. I remember thinking to myself that if I never jumped another jump, I could ride that canter for ten years and be happy. That must’ve been when I fell for him. He proceeded to do some lead changes for me. He marched down a couple of jump lines and over a 3’ oxer. He seemed brave and he jumped very round, just like a good hunter should.

I am a fairly analytical person and I thought that even if I found the right horse, I might still have trouble making the commitment to buy. Luckily, that ended up not being the case. I felt sure that Patrick was the right horse for me. A week later after a clean vetting and a short trial at our farm, I was the proud owner of a 16h brown pony-cross with a successful record of competition in the 3’/3’3” hunters and equitation. I finished his purchase just before Christmas, which had the nice side benefit that I could truthfully say that, after 20 years of begging Santa, I finally got a pony for Christmas.

I have been soooo delinquent in writing this blog. Readers, I apologize! A lot has happened since I got my horse, Patrick, in December. Therefore, I am going to take a couple of steps backward, start at the beginning of this story and then catch up to present day. It all began late last summer......

I wasn’t so sure about moving to Southern Maryland (SOMD, as the locals call it). My husband had finished an 8-year-long commitment with the Navy and had taken a job with a Washington DC based consulting firm. Naturally, we thought we would be moving to Washington DC. At the last minute, the firm called and asked if Will was interested in a position at Patuxent River Naval Air Station, which is way the heck south of everything in MD. Will hadn’t officially been offered the position yet and thought it best to respond, “sure, no problem, Pax River sounds great!” The truth was that we weren’t too thrilled about moving to Pax because it is rural and over an hour away from both DC and Annapolis. I knew it would make it difficult for me to find work (I manage clinical trials). I was also disappointed because I knew that we would not be living in prime horse country. After spending 5 years with the lack of a good horsey scene in Maine, I was prepared for the glorious hunter barns of Northern Virginia. Now it looked like it wasn’t going to happen. I was so close yet so far.

Once we arrived in SOMD, I wasted no time searching for a barn. I called the local tack store, Canterlope, and asked the owner which area farms she would recommend for lessons. Right away she said A Moment in Time Farm, which the locals call AMIT (yes, sorry, lots of acronyms). I also called Woodbury Equestrian Center because it was such a gorgeous facility (see for yourself:  http://sites.google.com/site/woodburyec/home). I talked to the barn manager, Julie, who also recommended that I try AMIT since I did not own a horse and AMIT had many school horses while Woodbury did not.  

I decided based on the recommendations from Julie and Canterlope to go check out AMIT during an evening show. The super-friendly barn owner and head trainer spent some time talking with me about my riding goals. This was pleasantly surprising considering that I was used to my Maine trainer who would turn on students like a rabid wolf if disturbed during show coaching. I liked the AMIT attitude! Most of the kids in the show were AMIT riders and looked like they had good riding basics; another great sign. The head trainer mentioned that he had recently employed an instructor who had ridden in the Big Eq divisions under the tutelage of Frank Madden. Of course I knew right away who Frank Madden was, none other than the New Jersey-based God of the junior equitation finals. My first thought? “What is a Frank Madden student doing down here?”

Enter Holly Stello. It turned out that Holly’s story was a lot like mine. She got married. Her husband got a job on base at Pax River. She moved to SOMD with her husband. She started building her business in SOMD, which in Holly’s case, means teaching lots lessons, running AMIT summer camp and coaching students, including an IHSA college team.

I started taking lessons with Holly at AMIT on the school horses. From the first lesson I realized that she was an exceptional instructor and just the kind of coach I was looking for to improve my riding. She was tough! Our flatwork focused on honing our equitation while encouraging the horses to be supple and adjustable. This was accomplished through lengthening and shortening the stride in all three gaits and lots of bending and leg yielding. Jumping centered on using the eyes to find the correct track to the jumps and take off spots at the jumps. Holly’s motto: “Long is always wrong.” In other words, if the horse does not take off from the perfect spot, then it is safer to chip in a short stride and get closer to the jump instead of taking a flying leap from further back. Holly often tested our skills over less-than-simple courses which she would then also make us jump backwards.

Another fun aspect of AMIT was getting the opportunity to ride in group lessons again. In Maine, the riding population was sparse enough that most of my lessons were private. AMIT had enough riders and horses that most of the lessons were groups. I like group lessons because it allows a rider to learn not only from the instructor, but from watching the other riders as well.

In short, moving to SOMD was a pleasant surprise. It turned out that there was a small but vibrant riding community once I learned where to look!